It is amazing how quickly the days pass.  My babies are turning into boys.  2014 is almost over and I have barely written a word this year.  My heart is full.  I have learned so much this year, cried so much and been heart broken but I have laughed, felt more love than I ever thought possible, and I have had new experiences. This life I have is amazing. I am realizing I am a nerd.  I like science, running and staying home with my family.

 These two are too funny. They just have IT. 

 This crazy boy of mine is going to be my heart attack. He is independent, strong willed

and already concerned about what he is going to wear. 

His smile makes my heart melt and his laughter makes the whole world

brighter. He throws the most epic tantrums.  He is starting to talk 

and toddler speech is just heart warming. 

 Me and my Wild Things.  

It amazes me how much I love them. How much I love the little things.

I love the way they smell, when they hold my hands, when they laugh, 

when Isaac gets mad because he is convinced there was a mistake when the 

alphabet was made because C and K sound the same. I love when 

Eli tries to change Luc's diaper but he is 7 and only makes a mess. 

I love that Luc runs his fingers through my hair when he is mad or 

sleeping. I love that Eli and Isaac get into epic fights because they are having 

imagination play and "their guys are mad at each other".  How lucky am I to 

be the mama of these wild things?

 My Isaac. The first time I held him I felt like I had 

found a missing piece of myself. He has a sensitive soul but he masks

it with laughter and wit. Sometimes when I am mad he asks me if I still 

love him and I can't help but just stop what I am doing and hold him.  

 This man and I have been together for ten years! I knew he was my guy from

the beginning but I never imagined this. Because this smart, funny,

amazing man loves me I feel like I can do anything, like I can always

get up and move forward. 

This boy is going to be the one who call home everyday. This is my
heart break and my pride. He is being teased at school because he is unique and
that hurts him more than he lets on. My heart hurts that people can't see what an amazing
cool kid he is and it pisses me off that people teach their kids that different is bad.
Eli has a strong sense of self and he is defiant and sometimes I want him not to fight me
I want him to go to bed when I tell him.  But there is also a piece of me who never wants him to stop fighting.
I never want him to change because the world tells him he has to fit in. I also want to shield him from
the bullies and sometimes I regret how I handle him but I know if I always have his back. If I always fight for
him, he will be okay. People like Eli change the world. 

Our life is crazy, chaotic and wonderfully beautiful. 

Living with Gratitude

Over the last year and a half I have been focusing on just being grateful. This has changed the whole way I look at life.  Life is hard and there are plenty of moments not to be grateful for but when I am frustrated or grumpy I take a moment and remember all the goodness and it is easier to let go of the things I cannot control.  The funny thing about living with gratitude is I am even grateful for all the hard times, without them my life wouldn't be what it is today. Without the hurt and the mistakes I am not sure I would be the same person.

Oh and christmas was great! This is the first year that Elijah and Isaac were both excited for christmas morning! They woke up at 3 a.m, luckily we got them to go back to sleep until 7:30. 

Now Isaac is asking when the next holiday is. 

Merry Christmas Eve

I am amazed at how much goodness we have in our lives. 

And I am grateful for everything I have been given! 

I am thankful for...

1. For all the goodness in my life
2. My little family
3. the grocery store. It is full of food.
4. My brothers and sisters. They are amazing people and I am proud they are my friends.
5. running
6. my little house.

7. That I am married to my best friend.

8. Sparkling water

9. Laughter

10. Little hands reaching for me in the middle of the night.

11. all my amazing friends. 

12. My parents

13. Bananas, scones and coffee for breakfast

14. The ocean, even though I don't see it enough

15. That my boys can get an education. 

16. That I can continue my education

17. Sam's love of bikes

18. I get to babysit my niece three days a week. She likes me and that makes me happy

19. My boys are wild, smart and full of energy. 

20. That my boys are thankful for superheroes. 

21. for Thanksgiving. It is a good reminder to slow down and remember all the amazing things I have in my life. 

Happy 1st birthday Luc

I take my previous post back!

I change my mind. School is a ton of work for everyone! The back and forth, the homework and getting everyone ready in the morning.  But mostly I miss my boys, they are growing up so fast. My heart breaks a little every time Elijah walks into school without even giving me a high five because that is not cool or when Isaac tells me pre-school is the best thing to every happen. Don't get me wrong I am so happy they are having fun and I want them to grow up to be happy, healthy, whole people. It is just watching them walk away is like watching a little piece of my heart walk away.

Isaac looking like an Atencio on his first day of pre-school. 

The one picture Elijah let me take on his first day of 1st grade. 

The good news is Captain is still my baby! He is so damn cute. He has the cutest golden curls. He is thinking about walking. He signs a couple of words but is also saying mom, dad and please. He gets into everything! He will be one in a couple of days and that just shocks me. Where did a year go?